catch-all: the one where we handwave the opposite of anders introducing himself.

[purities]

Comments

[spiritbalm]

[ the beach is truly the best place to be dramatic, it's understood. ]

I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much, to just say it. But I'd rather have said it than not.

[purities]

[it's just really so perfect for brooding.

hums.]

I never said sorry. When I found you here last week, after Hawke.

[spiritbalm]

Well that's because you're an asshole.

[ this is not disapproving. ]

And I was being so much more dramatic about it.

[purities]

[SNORTS. okay, that's funny.]

Yes, I am. And yes you were.

[spiritbalm]

[ feels like there should be an achievement pop-up for making mizu laugh, actually. ]

I'm done with wallowing. I was avoiding anger. It ... feeds Vengeance. Makes Justice worse. But it isn't terrible to be angry about unjust things.

[purities]

[achievement unlocked! but at what cost.]

No, it isn't. Anger can be... motivating. Much better than feeling sorry for your circumstances.

[though maybe someone whose profile says personality: wrathful shouldn't be saying this.]

[spiritbalm]

It's easy to lose yourself to it.

[ a half-shrug. ]

It will overtake everything, including anyone you care about.

[purities]

Hm. Then perhaps the answer is to care less. [this sounds more empty than anything else, though.] ... Is that what happened to you? The anger overtook everything?

[spiritbalm]

If you don't care, then what's the purpose of the anger to begin with? Then it's purposeless. Destroying yourself for nothing.

[ nodding, quietly. ]

I had watched every other avenue fail, every other escape route burn. I started losing ... time. Days. The clinic had fallen apart, everyone was planning to leave Kirkwall - to give up on it. On us. Every mage in the Gallows Circle another sacrifice on the pyre of Andraste. It was the only thing that mattered anymore. Vengeance. Making them pay. Once I'd destroyed the Chantry, no one even argued to keep me alive. I wasn't anything but a deranged monster by then.

[purities]

For satisfaction.

[terrible reason, really.

but also, hm. mizu listens, staying quiet for a moment. thinking.]

Wanting to make them pay. Going through with it. Do you regret it?

[spiritbalm]

If you are nothing but a host for vengeance, will satisfaction mean anything at all?

[ i guess that's the eternal question. ]

No. [ he really, really doesn't. ] Do you?

[purities]

It means my job is done. That's all I need.

[and without missing a beat:]

No.